Peace Tree Farm

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Acting like a Republican

Earlier this month, in the comment thread of my post about my new computer, I made this remark in response to Kate‘s comment about the purchase:

On top of that, there was something of a Republican approach behind the decision to buy a new machine, and a flat-panel, and new MS Office, and new Quicken, and new Norton stuff.  I’ll have more to say about that in a future blog posting.

This is that blog posting.

First off, let me hasten to explain some of the many ways in which I am not acting like a Republican.  Borrowed and adapted from my pal Darryl at HominidViews, I want to assure all of my readers that I have neither done nor emulated any of these activities:

  • unlike George W. Bush, I have not used the NSA to spy on Americans, in clear violation of the law
  • unlike Karl Rove, I am not about to be indicted for lying in the Leakergate investigation
  • unlike the malAdministration, I have not created secret overseas prisons for suspected terrorists
  • unlike the White House, I am not attempting to negotiate stuff out of McCain’s anti-torture bill
  • unlike Jack Abramoff, I did not lead a cabal to undertake a (super-sized) Indian Gambling Scandal
  • unlike Rummy and Abu Gonzales, I have not authorized torture in Abu Ghraib and Gitmo
  • unlike Tom DeLay, I am not under indictment for money laundering, conspiracy, or anything else
  • unlike Cheney, Powell, Condi, Perle, Wolfowitz, Bolton, Dubya, et al., I have made no false claims about supposed weapons of mass destruction in Iraq
  • unlike George W. Bush, I have neither jokingly not seriously suggested to Tony Blair that the US might bomb Al Jazeera
  • unlike the Defense Department, I have not paid a contractor to publish positive stories about the war in Iraqi newspapers
  • unlike Bill Frist, I have participated in neither conflict-of-interest stock transactions from (non)blind trusts nor laundered money through charities
  • unlike the Bush malAdministration, I have made no illegal payments to the press (Armstrong Williams) and produced no bogus news videos in clear violation of laws prohibiting the use of federal money for propaganda
  • unlike Mike Brown and Bush’s FEMA, I did not fail to respond to Hurricane Katrina

How, then, am I acting like a Republican?  Click and find out…

Posted by N in Seattle on 12/27 at 04:12 PM
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