I give up

I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. 

That’s what I’ll say to my colleagues at work today.  That’s what I’ll say to my friends (surprisingly, not a single “aarrrrgggghhhh” email has arrived yet).  That’s what I’ll tell the candidates and leaders and organizers who’ll come calling.

At a post-election gathering with friends last night, I simply ran out of gas.  Could barely stay awake and alert enough to listen to the conversation, much less participate in it.  I left while others were downing their scotch, their martinis, their wine.  Fell into bed an hour or two earlier than I do on a normal evening, utterly devoid of energy.  Woke this morning well before the alarm clock, still exhausted.

This feeling will pass, I suspect.  Call it “learned helplessness” or “situational depression” or “self-pity” or whatever else you want to call it.  For the moment, it’s real and it’s strong and it’s deep.  For the short term, I need to lose myself in this burrow.  Clear my head, maybe. 

This blog will continue.  Don’t know what I’ll talk about or when I’ll talk about it, but I’m not closing up shop.

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[UPDATE]: Patrick Nielsen Hayden says it more eloquently on Electrolite, except that it sounds like he wants to close his blog.  Read the comments—some heartrending, some defiant, some as down in the dumps as I am—to Patrick’s post too.  He, unlike me, actually gets comments.  Then again, he, unlike me, writes with power and grace.

Patrick does remind us to think about Vaclav Havel.

Comments

i know exactly how you feel. except that i didn’t sleep at all.

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You write well enough, just not often enough. ;)

I quit drinking five years ago, but I’m tempted to start again.

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n,
I was encouraged by some of the discussion on daily kos yesterday.  I guess I read first “Don’t Mourn, Organize”. A better way to look at it all. Let’s not lay down in the road. Ask ourselves how we have played into their hands. Why are we so needy of oil and how can we individually change things - don’t wait for a ‘saviour’ in any format.

Oh, and go see “What the bleep . . .” www.whatthebleep.com .

peace,
vince

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I think it will get better. I think the depression will turn into resolve.

We still can fight this man.

It’s America. He is not Saddam Hussein. However, if he was, we would just lose his files.

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Onward. I just read Dr. Dean’s message on www.Democracyforamerica.com More good stuff.
vince

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